Your Mother Sells Quality Term Rat Insurance

Gary: so, now what?

me: what is up balla

Gary: not much

just got in to work

me: i wish u would get off work early.

1:28 PM Gary: yeah, for real

me: bc im already thinking- wtf am i gonna do the rest of the day

Gary: when are your parents leaving for kazakistan?

1:29 PM me: tomorow morning.

Gary: well i'm off work tomorrow. do you have to work?

1:30 PM me: yeah i guess, if thats what u call it

we're filming tomorow. right??

Gary: yes'm

1:31 PM It's gonna be

AWESOME!

me: SICK!

yeah dude.

im pumped. so u better map this shiz out

Gary: Yes, sickeningly awesome

me: so we can film effectively

MAP!

Gary: disestablishmentarianism

yeah, i know big words

1:32 PM me: loud noises

!

Gary: lol

1:33 PM Honeybees navigate by using the sun as a compass

me: your mother laughs out loud

Gary: And your mother is a fuedal lord

1:34 PM me: and your mother is a hamster ball salesman

Gary: And your mother sells quality term rat insurance.

1:35 PM me: lol

and your mother qualifies for federal varmint aid

1:36 PM Gary: agreed. so no what?

now*

1:37 PM how now brown cow

me: unique new your

K!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

so did chris call you this mon ring

1:38 PM Gary: I spoke w/ his mouth less than an hour ago. He's fine, and I can really understand what he's saying. So I felt pretty good about it.

1:39 PM Come to find out, there was a worm living in the bump they removed.

me: WTF

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

!!!!!!!!!!

!!!!!!!!

!!!!11

!!!!!11

is that a joke....

Gary: just kidding. no worms. But it would've been really sickening if it were the case.

me: i didnt knwo they removed any worms. why??

1:40 PM was he eating feces again?

Gary: lol

yes

1:51 PM me: yes

Gary: We should waterboard chris tomorrow for one of our videos.

1:52 PM LOL YEAH!!!!!!!!

me: DUDE!!!!!!!!!!

THAT is SOOOOOOOOOOO hilarious. i can't even believe it. that's a GOOD ASS IDEA!

1:55 PM Gary: lol for real, that would be timeless

me: perfect

Gary: a masterpiece

1:56 PM a time honored tradition

LOL

1:57 PM So why dontcha come on down, der hey. To Gary and Leslie's waterboard emporium.

We got oak

poplar

cedar

and even the brazilian nut wood waterboards. Anything to suit your waterboarding needs

1:59 PM We employee master amish wagon makers to make all of our waterboards.

2:01 PM (Cut to image of family waterboarding Chris)

(Children laughing)

2:02 PM So whether you've caught yourself a terrorist infidel

or ya jest wanna teach that rascaly neighbor kid a lesson...

2:04 PM Gary and Leslie's Waterboard Emporium has all of your waterboard needs. And with any purchase of a Amishman brand waterboard, you'll receive a complimentary rusty bear trap.